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Monthly Archives: February 2010

Ode To Woodchester Mansion By Tracy Dawn Hope.

Ten-ish Things I Learned at Woodchester and Beyond
1. “We’re going to a place called Posh Fish? Am I correctly dressed?”
2. D loves bashing one out on my dad’s equipment
3. We don’t have much luck with public transport
4. Hey Anna, that doorway’s named after you!!!
5. Lyn takes her Ouija board to Tesco
6. D wears women’s clothes and looks pretty good in them
7. Two socks good, four socks better
8. Dusty isn’t shy any more
9. “Where you go, I go…”
10. Everyone sings along to Lily Allen in the car. Only I sing the FULL verse avec rude bits
11. What is that little building on the Air Balloon Roundabout? It’s either a bus shelter, or a roadside pole dancing club
12. Sex is still guaranteed in the pet shop
13. Lyn’s laugh gives her location away every time
14. There’s something ironic about the medium getting lost ‘cos her Sat Nav took her the wrong way
15. This would make a wicked trigger object – thank you, darling
16. Hagrid coat = WIN
17. Lyn looked far better in my yeti jumper than I ever did, so it’s her yeti now!
18. Would you like me to introduce you to anyone else on the bus?
19. Lyn still doesn’t know where she’s going
20. If you hit Cockadilly, you’ve gone the wrong way, so “going all Cockadilly” will describe anything that’s gone tits up from now on
21. You can see all the lights of Gloucester from up here – v. pretty
22. Mobile phone signal = EPIC FAIL
23. I went all Cockadilly in the snow. Twice
24. Transfiguration, investigation, all sorts of other things ending in –ation
25. Revenge photography = WIN
26. Who votes for leaving at 4? 5?
27. How about 4:15?
28. It’s the age-old dilemma – I could kill for a cuppa tea, but I don’t want to have to go out there for a weewee
29. I suppose now would be an inappropriate time to suggest a snowball fight?
30. It was actually warmer in the cellar. And very dark. And… zzzzzzzzzzz…
31. Apparently, we look like a pan-pipe band
32. What else can we chuck on the fire?
33. I’ve been told I should just flip it up over my head
34. GET OUT OF MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
35. Leaving a bit early to beat the snow = FAIL
36. Welcome to the 2010 Winter Olympics, coming to you from Gloucestershire
37. And now, the car-shoving
38. Those people are going for a fag, mum. Are you going for a fag? Go for a fag
39. Keep a firm hold on your cups
40. Happy Birthday to Roooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
41. Roo had her cake. D and I ate it
42. Who’s got the mats?
43. We didn’t get anything paranormal, apart from some interesting taps in the bathroom
44. R-O-J-E-R. Spirit spelling = FAIL
45. LESS REVS!!!
46. Vorsprung Durch Pushingupthehill
47. And now, on Radio Woodchester: Pushing Cars, by Snow Patrol
48. You all signed the waiver…
49. Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese
50. What he ACTUALLY said was “Wouldn’t it be cool if we got snowed in at Woodchester?”
51. “Whose idea was this?” “Umm, I think it was yours.” “Oh yeah…”
52. Apparently the caretaker didn’t get out for four days last time
53. The boys’ loos had no light, so they had to hold their torch in one hand… And hold their light in the other…
54. FP and Roo = (torch) wind-up merchants
55. MORE REVS!!!
56. WeShoveAnyCar(Dotcom) WeShoveAnyCar(Dotcom) Any Any Any Any WeShoveAnyCar(Dotcom)… etc
57. Just go in the ladies’ – we won’t mind
58. Must… zzzzzzzzzz… Not… zzzzzzzzzzzzz… Fa… zzzzzz… ll.. Asleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
59. I’m still gutted that Lee couldn’t make it
60. Roo reckons she’s probably going to drop off in her gravy
61. And now on Channel 4 – Cockatiel Swap
62. YOU D*CK!!!
63. That’s the last time Roo lets us organise something for her birthday, what with the eruption of Mount Cappio at Derby Gaol, and now this…
64. D has now met THREE of my work colleagues
65. I think it’s actually a folly
66. If you put money in, the eyes light up red. Bit like me, really
67. It looks like the kind of chapel you get in the middle of a cemetery. Is that because it is one?
68. FP – now with added homicidal intentions…
69. I’d still go back to Woody, but maybe in summer next time
70. Bring your own microwave
71. It’s a minimalist’s wet dream
72. Lyn and Grumpy love each other really
73. You always get more than you paid for on one of Lyn’s gigs!

Big thanks to Lyn, for organising things and for the tea and snacks and letting us cuddle all her darling animals; to Roo for driving us there and back and generally being the bestest mummy; to Mr Roo, for taking us home afterwards and letting us have the car; to Chris the Woody guy for offering us a lift up the hill; to Grumpy for the taxi; to Lee for being gorgeous, even though he couldn’t make it; and to D, for keeping me giggling all weekend and looking cute in my hat. Lovely to meet everyone else too! Shame we didn’t get to see Sam’s transfiguration - was looking forward to that. xxxxxxxx